Friday, November 15, 2019

Today's Meltdown...

I’ve stomped around here all week frustrated about decorating for Christmas. “I don’t know how to decorate when I’m only 80% unpacked,” I keep saying. And honestly, it’s been a perfect excuse. But the truth is I’ve been plagued with indecision which is to say I don’t know how to decorate this year. For the first time in 17 years, no one will be at my house for the holidays and while some of you will likely find that thought refreshing, I find it beyond odd. And I find it incredibly sad. It’s my favorite time of year and I’m at a loss.

Sunday afternoon my meltdown was brought to us by the letter A for Advent calendar. As I was pulling things out in an attempt to gather some excitement for decking the halls, it dawned on me that the Advent calendar the kiddo has completed every December since he was big enough to hold the little ornaments won’t be completed this year. Yes, I’ve solved the problem on his end and I’m taking a fun advent calendar for his dorm room but all you mamas out there know exactly what I’m saying. It’s not the same.

Yesterday’s meltdown was brought to us by the letter N for Nativity scene. I no longer have built-ins which means I’ve lost the spot where I display my Nativity scene, a set that’s almost as old as my marriage. My dear friend talked me off the ledge and reminded me that buying a little table would solve the problem and she’s right and I’m working on it. But still, when the realization hit that one of my most treasured Christmas pieces no longer had a home, it wasn’t a pretty scene around here.

Today’s meltdown was brought to us by the letter S for Stockings. I spent years trying to find stocking hangers that were innocuous and between three different Christmas shoppes on opposite coasts, I finally pulled it off a few years ago. Why does it matter? Because I want the decorations on the mantle to be visible, not the stocking holders. I hear you saying I should go buy some 3M command hooks and deal with it and I get it. I really do. But it’s one more thing that’s different and what I’m finding is that a lot of little different things are starting to make a big thing.

Things are just out of place enough that I’m having a hard time getting my arms around it. My head and my heart are at war and my OCD perfectionist tendencies are enjoying robust supporting roles. At this point, I have no idea who’s going to win because the task feels bigger than me. But I have hope because I know getting through this season of a millions differences isn’t bigger than my God. I wonder if he looks down on me in the middle of my tantrums the way I always looked at the kiddo? A little dismayed. A little frustrated. A little sad. And a little determined. Just keeping it real over here. #ATLOTPDay67IsHard  #BuehlerLIfe

Monday, October 21, 2019

Oh, How Blessed...


It dawns on the hubster and I that we never grieved moving our one and only to college. We didn’t have that “coming home to an empty house experience” because it didn’t happen that way for us. My mom was home waiting on us with our little girls that Wednesday evening and seven hours later, a moving crew showed up. Honestly, it feels like we little more than napped once in the old house after the kiddo moved then we were on our way as well.
Having the kiddo home for fall break was an amazing whirlwind sixty-seven hours but we managed to fit nearly everything in (and planned some of Christmas break for those things we couldn’t)! Sleeping in the new room, shopping, traffic, new guitars and new music test tracks, Post Malone in concert, good food, and our ritual toast to Jim Morrison. The ride home from the airport yesterday was filled with tears and when we got home, it hit us—it was our day, the one where we came home and realized our precious kiddo is really moving on.
I was such a mess when we got home I decided to tackle the shrub rose I've ignored for the past month, pruning through the waterworks, my mind running over eighteen and half years of parenting fails and triumphs. I was lost in my thoughts when I looked up and saw the sun shining through to a perfect bloom and I couldn't help but smile. Oh, how blessed we are to be this kiddos' parents. We’re amazed by him and in awe of all he’s doing but we miss him like mad times ten. This house is way too quiet without him here and no, I don’t know when I’ll go up and make his bed. I actually kinda like seeing it messy! Let the countdown to the holidays begin because we’re ready for him to come back!  #UpsizedDown  #ATLOTPDays43thru45 #BuehlerLife

Thursday, October 10, 2019

A Little Paint...


If you haven’t moved in awhile, you might have forgotten that oh so funny thing that happens when you start to think about actually hauling your stuff to a new space. Someday science is going to have to explain to me why from the moment we started looking at new homes my brain took over and started decorating each and every one because that’s exactly what happened in all eighteen homes we toured with the amazing Lisa Terminello Cea. My brain hit hyperdrive when I stepped into this house and the hubster can attest I had the place decorated in my head before the ink was dry on the offer. And now here we are. My brain is tired and reality is calling the shots and it turns out my stuff and my brain aren’t only on different pages, they aren’t even reading the same book! I had this place set just so in my mind at least a million times before Lisa handed me the keys but now things I used to love don’t fit and things I thought were headed for the first truck out of here are centerstage.
Such is the case with the safety pin. It was fun in the old house and I didn’t mind it being a too bright shade of yellow to go with anything but I knew it wasn’t making the cut for the move. Then it showed up on the truck and made it into the house and I’ve literally been kicking it around for thirty four days. I’ve made dozens of trips to the thrift store with donations in the past month and why that silly pin never made it into the car is beyond me but I’m so grateful it’s still here. And while I’m no James Hall or anything, I do have to say I wielded a can of spray paint like a boss today. My big yellow safety pin that I liked but was ready to part with is now shiny silver and I love it (not to mention I'm thrilled to have another space almost done. I'll add a few more pics below). #ATLOTPDayThirtyFive #UpsizedDown #BuehlerLife

Monday, October 7, 2019

Never Alone...

When you feel alone it’s easy to convince yourself that you really are alone. One of the lies I’ve told myself throughout this gigantic transition we’ve been in is that I’ve lost all my friends. The truth is I haven’t lost my friends. Not by a long shot. I’ve just lost proximity to my friends. Oh how I wish my feeble little brain would catch the difference some days! 
Our family and friends have been amazing throughout this slog to a new normal and YOU continue to be amazing every single day. You have called me and made connections for me and emailed me and texted me and I’ve even FaceTimed with several of you (is that not the weirdest sentence ever-turning text and FaceTime into verbs in this new crazy world we live in)?!
I’m sorry I’ve been a little quieter than usual and I appreciate so many of you checking on me. Here’s the official update—we are doing well. Our kiddo is happy and healthy and loving college life but best of all-he’ll be here to visit in 10 days! The hubster is thriving in his new environment and he truly loves the work that he’s doing. And, we’re officially out of boxes! It’s been rough because let me tell you, 15,383 pounds of stuff is no laughing matter. But the big things are set and while the little things are all over the place, I’ve come to peace with it. It won’t be like this forever and small areas are coming together each and every day.
As for me, setting up home and creating new work flows and routines has been my number one priority these past few weeks but I’ve made time to go to a couple of DAR events (where I met some amazing new ladies!), have lunch with a new friend, and I haven’t needed to use GPS in a week! I was able to meet up with one of my closest friends for a fun afternoon (we met halfway in the mountains of northern Georgia) now that we’re only three hours apart! I’ve also unpacked all of my craft supplies and have my studio 75% back together. After losing all of my creative mojo for more than three months, I can feel the creative energy starting to flow so I’m hopeful brighter days are ahead.
I’m so grateful for each of you and know to my core that I’m blessed to have you in my life. #UpsizedDown #ATLOTPDayLostCount #BuehlerLife
P.S. I may have found a breakfast spot. We’re having a second date this morning. I’ll let you know how it goes…


Wednesday, September 18, 2019

Fight Club...

Turns out I’m not the only one stressed over this move. The sisters got into a bit of a scrum this afternoon (I’m pretty sure this one didn’t know she was playing) resulting in a torn eyelid and scratched cornea. Hello anti-inflammatories, antibiotics, and cone of sham, which stinks because it was 100% not her fault (not to mention it’s not the way I wanted to meet the new vet)! #BuehlerLife #DayStupidMove #FightClubBlazie

Tuesday, September 17, 2019

Broken Things...

I’ve heard a lot of phrases used to describe moving and I’ll admit, from these angles moving can seem exciting and maybe even a touch glamorous. A fresh start. A new space. A blank canvas. A new chapter. A new adventure. I’m finding a bit of all of these things to be true.

But there are downsides to moving that aren’t as exciting to talk about—stress, upheaval, chaos, exhaustion. While we had a terrific driver and a great loading crew, turns out our packing crew left a little to be desired and so for us I think the word that sums up our move thus far is damage. To a degree we’ve been able to laugh and shake off some of what we’ve uncovered because it’s just stuff (like the now square wreath). But my office has been another story and I can assure you there’s been no laughter there.

Below is my most recent communication with our moving coordinator...

“I appreciate you taking the time to speak with me this morning. I’m glad I called you when I did because I’ve been crying as things have gone rapidly downhill since those first few boxes. I appreciate you forwarding the claim form and I will do my best but I want you to know that I do not know how to put a price on profound sadness. And I don’t know how to put a price on things that no amount of money can replace. And I don’t know how to put a price on opening boxes filled with candy wrappers and used tissues and seeing things that I love thrown about like they were going to a rummage store. I am heartbroken.” #ATLOTPDayWhatever #BuehlerLife#UpsizedDown



Wednesday, September 11, 2019

Shine...

If you listen closely, it’s easy to find people talking about stuff. “I have too much stuff, I need to clean out my stuff, I’m going to get more stuff, I have the wrong stuff, I have old stuff, I need new stuff, I can’t find my stuff, someone gave me stuff...”
In our case, I know exactly how much stuff we have because it’s been packed and weighed and documented. 15,383 pounds. In the last several days I’ve become more intimately acquainted with these 15,383 pounds than I knew possible and I’ve learned more about space than I ever wanted to know. Things like we have a 4X larger pantry but we lost four big kitchen drawers. We have a third car garage and a loft but we no longer have a basement. 
Stuff. 15,383 pounds of it was hauled off a truck and scattered everywhere around me and I have to admit, it was overwhelming. And then I remembered my thing. I decided to carry one thing with me to set up in the midst of the chaos that might make me smile because while this transition is exciting, it’s also very hard. 
My thing is a flash forward of sorts, a look at where I’m headed in this next season, and several times throughout the day when I passed by the room where it sat, I couldn’t help but smile and remember the goal amidst the mayhem. Clearly my thing resonated with our moving crew, too, as at different points throughout the day each of the guys mentioned it, offering a “that’s neat, that’s cool, that’s cute.” 
Stuff has power. It can change us, divide us and connect us, weigh us down or lift us up. What I know for sure is in this new space I want my stuff to exist so that the people I love can be comfortable and well cared for. #ATLOTPDayTwelve #UpsizedDown #FewerBetterThings #BuehlerLife