Thursday, June 14, 2018

So yeah, there have been moments over these first weeks of summer (amidst the application prepping, transcript requesting, letter of recommendation gathering, scholarship paperwork completing, score sending, and day dreaming about the future that's become the hum of our days) when I felt like a good cry would make it all better. But I've held tough. Until today.  

It's hard to believe the great college tour of July 2017 is history, yet there's something about seeing it in print, the memories filed neatly amongst the pages that chronicle the kiddos' life this past year, that makes the reality of it all impossible to push away.  

We have a few more visits to make this summer and while I'm looking forward to our next road trip, and to making new memories, I've also decided it's time to stock up on Kleenex. #WHSSen19rs

Wednesday, June 6, 2018


Seniors--Morse, June 2018
When the kiddo came to us with his junior schedule, the hubster and I weren’t a hundred percent on board with the workload he planned to tackle. When he added a couple of online classes to that load the last trimester of the school year, the hubster and I had a full conversation in glances and raised eyebrows. And while I never doubted the kiddo, I did question the load. Truth is, given what I know about my son, I guess I should’ve known better. 

“It was all part of the plan,” he offered from his perch in the bow of our boat this past weekend, flashing me that thousand watt smile while I stared back at myself in his mirrored sunglasses. “I frontloaded summer.” And that he did. Junior year is in the books and I'll always look back on the growth he gained and the achievements he earned with a grin.  It was an amazing ride.

So here we are... We have no real schedule to keep this summer other than a few planned excursions. We have no deadlines to note, no testing center hours to memorize, and no study guides to label, which means that for the first time in my life I’m not running a daily checklist where he’s concerned. And it means he has a chance to breathe for a moment, a chance to stare at the stars a bit if he chooses, and a chance to be a kiddo for just a while longer. 

Monday, May 7, 2018

29 Days...

It's been a month of crushing loss. A month of not enough words to express sorrow. A month of juggling schedules to keep the bases covered while praying for time to simultaneously stop and fast forward itself. We've lost a precious cousin we were really just getting to know again after years of losing touch. Paul was the master of corny jokes and had a huge heart. He was our friend and we miss him. We lost my Uncle Bill, a gentle, patient man we all adored. He was like a father to my dad given their age difference and I physically felt my heart crack when my dad looked at me through tear stained eyes and said that he understood what it felt like to be an orphan now. "I'm the last one left," he sighed. And today we buried my Aunt Linda, a sweet soul who turned the title of being a sister-in-law to my mom into a best friendship. 
The past twenty nine days have come with a steep learning curve and they've reminded me that family reunions are best when held in parks near the barbecue versus the inside of solemn chapels. These days have also highlighted a few things it dawns on me we're often quick to say but slow to do. Take the risk. Mend the fence. Have the hard conversation. Spend the time. Pray for those that come against you. Take the first step. Make the call. And please, if you do nothing else, tell someone you love them. #LoveWins

Tuesday, March 6, 2018

One Little Word...

Instead of resolutions, I decided to focus on a single word this year.  While I sat with simplify and discipline for a bit, in the end the word that resonated most strongly with me was Embrace.

One of the things I've decided to Embrace this year is my weight loss journey.  While there's a 'before' pic, there's not going to be a definitive 'after' pic.  I'm focusing on where I'm at and how I'm doing and Embracing right now versus worrying about an 'after.' As such, I'm choosing to call these pics 'before' and 'first third.' #24.2  

And The Award Goes To...

Since our duo became a trio almost seventeen years ago, we’ve had a running joke around here about the Mother of the Year award.  Thing is, I’m prone to pulling some doozies as my mom would say, which is how the notion of the award came about.  While I don’t remember now what I did that caused us to coin the phrase all those years ago, I’m sure it was either shockingly impressive or completely ridiculous.  Brilliance or incompetence.  There’s rarely anything in between with me. 

The kiddo received his first speeding ticket today, which is to say he’s grounded and his truck is parked indefinitely, which means I’m headed back to the carpool line…

It’s also how I found myself sitting on the side of the road shouting “Let me tell you something, mister.  I don’t offer fifteen million chances.  I’m not Jesus!” at the top of my lungs at 415pm on an otherwise quiet Tuesday afternoon.  #MOTY2018

Wednesday, February 21, 2018

Thoughts on a security alert...

When I received the message through our school notification system that something had hit the airwaves causing "school administrators and local police authorities to not only be aware but diligent in investigating any and all safety situations,” needless to say, it got my attention.  But you know what it didn’t do?  It didn’t make me want tougher gun laws.

So how can I say such a thing, right?  How cold and insensitive of me?  Stay with me for a minute (or go ahead and unfriend me-it’s your call) and I’ll walk you through my thought process in regard to the facts and the truth (as I see it)…  

Fact:  Until you get a safety related message from a place where your child spends eight hour a day, you have no idea how you might respond so if you haven’t been there, do the rest of us a favor and stop pretending like you have.  It's NOT funny.

Fact:  There was no mention of the real issue in the email I received, only vaguely worded mention that some safety issue was being investigated.  Yet it didn’t take my mind more than an instant to focus on recent events.

Truth:  There’s another broken person in our midst.

Truth:  People that are hurting hurt others.

Truth:  If mental illness were visible there would be a line of people waiting for help wrapped around the earth twice over. 

Truth:  When I received that email this afternoon, thoughts about tougher gun laws didn’t cross my mind because I’m smart enough to know that broken people will find a way around whatever the obstacle be it a wall or a fine or a law. I went the direct opposite and my first thought was that I need to rally an Army to protect my kid, and his friends, and kids I remember buttoning coats and tying shoes for when I taught kindergarten, and my friends’ kids, and the wonderful teachers and staff in our district that have become like family over the years.

Truth:  What we need is better access to mental health care, and early intervention, and more accessible social work, and we also need more involved parents…  Sadly those buzz words don’t win elections.

We guard our money, and our artwork, and our airports.  The local mall has armed security in place for the designer handbags.  There are more security measures in place at a rock concert than a school.  Fact is, there are more security measures in place in the DVD section at Barnes and Noble than we afford our kids. 

The events of today strengthen my resolve that our schools should be the SAFEST PLACES ON EARTH for our children and I honestly don't believe waiting for some overreaching power to develop a plan to rescue our kids when trouble comes is getting the job done. Instead, I think it’s time that the resolve of reasonable people swing the other way.  Rather than sitting around waiting for something bad to happen, shouldn’t we be taking the fight to the threat?  Shouldn’t we be going to any length to put the right tools in the hands of the right people to help protect our kids?

Friday, January 19, 2018

Who Will Hold My Cards?

Instead of New Years resolutions, I pick a word to focus on each year.  If you’d have asked me over Christmas break, I would have told you Simplify and Discipline where frontrunners for 2018.  Then EMBRACE found me and with it came the understanding that I need to foster new attitudes and a willingness to wrap my arms around certain things I’ve been able to push aside heretofore.  A simple example is cooking.  If you know me well, you know the boys and I used to eat out 5 nights a week.  Eating out is fun and easy and social and I take the task of finding new restaurants as a welcome challenge.  Short and sweet--eating out pushes all the good buttons for me.  But that’s not the case for my boys.  The hubster and the kiddo grew so sick of eating out last year that dinner became a source of contention for us.  As such, one of the areas in my life I’m embracing this year is cooking dinner.  The new rule in Buehlerland is that we’ll eat at home Monday through Saturday (when possible to do so).  Whew!  Talk about in for a penny, in for a pound, huh?

I’m nineteen days into embracing dinner (that’s seventeen home cooked meals if you’re counting) and one of the things I’ve grown to love most about my time in the kitchen is pulling out old recipes and seeing the handwriting of friends as well as that of my mom, my mother-in-law, and my grandma.  These cards are precious to me and they make me wonder--who will hold my cards one day?  My daughter-in-law?  My grandchildren?  And then it dawned on me that unless I start writing down my recipes, all I’ll be able to share with the next generation is a flash drive and my Pinterest password.

It took me ten minutes and twelve dollars to create my recipe cards and you can bet I’ll be filling them out as the boys and I decide on our ‘keepers' in the coming year.