Just Like That...

And just like that it’s done.The kiddo is in his new house, his home away from home that will serve him well for the next three years, and I’m almost home, if you consider 268 miles almost. I’ve logged over 2000 miles in the driver’s seat this trip, spending precious little time with friends and family but a lot of time with my amazing kiddo, making memories at the speed of light. Memories I’ll look back on over the coming months, as I’m missing him ferociously, and smile.

When the kiddo was little I always used to worry that I’d have to push him out there to take advantage of opportunities, meet friends, and find his tribe, but nothing could be farther from the truth. As I drive away from him my heart is full knowing if anything, I want to pull him back!

This Mom gig is the hardest job I’ve ever had. It comes with the worst hours, wagons full of guilt, a fair amount of self-doubt, sleepless nights, a lot of what-if’s, more worry than I everknew I was capable of, and a healthy dose of anxiety. Seriously, if the writers put the truth in theWhat to Expect books, humanity would be in trouble! But this gig is the best job I’ve ever had, too, because seeing your child settled and satisfied, engaged and learning new things, owning their space, and succeeding outweighs the tough things by such a large margin that I don’t even know how to do the math on that type of problem. 

If you’re the mom of a little, soak it up and don’t wish it away, even when you’re knee-deep in sleepless nights and living rooms that make you look like Lego farmers. I know you think so but I promise you aren’t losing yourself. You’re taking one on the chin (and maybe the waistline!) and paying it forward but you can’t see that now so I need you to trust me on this. If you’re a middle mom, keep driving carpool (and the other 900 activities you manage on a weekly basis), stay on your kids about their homework, help them find good friends, and hug them longer than you should every time they’ll let you. I know you’re tired and you’re juggling A LOT of plates, but I also hope you know how much they need you, even though they’re growling and snarling more than an angry Rottweiler these days. Keep taking one for the team because it’s going to pay off. 

And college moms, go snag a cup of coffee and listen up. We’ve got this. Even when we find ourselves knee-deep in the worry. Even when we can’t jump in thecar (because they’re too far away!) and take them to lunch so we can just listen because we know what they really need is a strong shoulder and a hug. We can be exactly what our kids need in this season and find ourselves again, too. We can live our best lives while helping them find theirs. I get that these days are hard but these days can still be great. I know this firsthand because I'm living proof. If you ever want talk 

Where is the coffee?

It dawns on me that there are things that happen when you’re working the college mom gig that don’t happen in the empty nest. Like when you have to order coffee at a restaurant for breakfast. Why? Because college kids living on Starbucks don’t typically have coffee pots so you don’t get to enjoy that first cup while you’re getting ready for the day. Gasoline? I can’t tell you the last time I got down to one bar because in my empty nest Atlanta existence, I never let it get one bar low, let alone end up with just one bar to go. A dirty car? In the empty nest my car is washed every week. At present, my ride is so filthy from driving 10+ hours to get to my child, and 10+ hours more running all over town trying to find what he needs for this move, that I’m naming the bugs on the windshield and I’m about to write “Joy” in the dust on the dash and call it progress. Matching bedding? Ha! Last night I slept on the kiddo’s couch with a duvet serving as both a bottom sheet and a blanket. To top it off, I pulled one of his clean T-shirts over a couch pillow and called it even. When the kiddo asked what I was doing, I just laughed because honestly, I was too tired to explain. Lists? I have at least five open on my phone at present instead of the nicely manicured master one I keep in the empty nest. And schedules? Right! We’re eating lunch most days at two and we GrubHubbed Taco Bell last night at eleven. Time management is a myth at this point. So yeah, the college mom gig is crazy but I can’t lie - I love it! That said, I do wish I would’ve brought my own pillow because I’m not 100% certain where this one’s been. #BuehlerLife

Warning Lights...

This weekend I’m embarking on a journey to move our kiddo from his summer place into his house in Bloomington, the place we hope he gets to reside for the rest of his college career. This is our 14th move in less than a year and to say we’re weary of boxes, and packing tape, and storage keys, would be an understatement. But funnier on this journey is the story of car tires. The story of how every time we have a vehicle fully loaded and we’re ready to make a ten plus hour drive, a warning light comes on. If this has ever happened to you, you know it’s not a good feeling when things start flashing while you’re running down the road at seventy miles per hour. 

No one wants to drive across town with a warning light on, let alone watch it flash for 600 miles. So here I am in the backseat of a dealer shuttle, making my way to pick up my car just in time to reload and get on the road, setting off to help my birdy fly the nest when all I really want to do is keep him tucked safely in his childhood bed. 

Last night I was inconsolable, spouting off phrases like “I don’t have time for this. I have a schedule to keep.” And my classic, “People are depending on me!” To anyone on the outside looking in, I’m sure it seemed simple enough, I was upset about the inconvenience of a car repair before a trip. But the truth is I’m upset about the stress of another move, about life at college in the time of Covid, about a new housing situation, about saying goodbye yet again. I’m so very sick of saying goodbye. So while my vehicle was warning me about tires yesterday, my heart took me other places. Warning! This is going to be hard. Warning! This is going to hurt. Warning! He’ll want you to leave long before you’re ready to say ‘see you in October. Warning! This may never get easier. 

In the light of day my perspective has shifted and I’m grateful that I wasn’t somewhere in the middle of nowhere halfway to Indiana when that warning light came on. Grateful that my husband was able to leave work and help me, both with the car and with my heart. That the service manager at the dealership understands this harried mom just doesn’t want to let her kid down. 

God shows up and uses interesting things these days to slow me down and get my attention. He always meets me right in the middle of my mayhem. Yesterday it was car tires and warning lights and I’m beyond grateful for the reminder that he’s given me just enough sense to see the blessings above the obstacles. #BuehlerLife