Mom On Fire...

Some days are heavy and I can’t help but want to wash it all away. Some days I’m reminded that I can’t do it all. That I can’t have it all. Fix it all. That I can’t change it all. Like last night when my son called to tell me there was a man with a gun who’d barricaded himself (and maybe a hostage or two?) inside the Indiana University Memorial Union. The building on campus a block and a half from the kiddo’s front door. The place where he likes to sit at Starbucks and study and meet friends. The campus living room of sorts. Yeah, that place.

Disbelief. Fear. Shock. The emotions that washed over us in the moment were BIG. And all at once I felt like I wanted him to run to me, I wanted to run to him, and I wanted to just run away. But when you’re a mom and your kiddo calls for advice/help, you don’t have the luxury to lose it. There is no running. So we did what we do best. We talked through the situation, calmly and objectively, and decided on the best course of action, a course that was logical for my kiddo, the young man who’s on his own (mostly), given the information we had at the time. 

Sometimes it's easy to remember that there’s so much I can’t change in this world... That there’s so much I can’t change for him... But then I hear the words of my magnificient friend Stacy Green ringing loud and clear. I can change me. I can do things differently. I can control how I act and how I react. And I can control my own weather, which means I can choose how to handle what comes at me and how I help my tribe when they call. 

And when things like last night come at me, I can pray like a mom on fire. #Build2022