People are disruptive...
I heard this phrase a couple of weeks ago and
I have to tell you, it strikes a cord with me. As it applies in my life, it’s true--people can be hideously disruptive. I would have said I do a bang-up job of grumbling
under my breath when I’m interrupted and hiding the fact that I’m not the
world’s most flexible person. But
alas, it’s been brought to my attention by a few people who love me most that I
don’t always hide my emotions very well when I’m interrupted. Could that be true of me?
If you know me, you know I’m an
overachieving type A that craves deadlines and organization and
you also probably know I’m pretty insightful, especially when it comes to
knowing myself. For example, I know I
don’t have the gift of hospitality. Have
you ever been to my house for dinner?
See? Not a speck of hospitality in sight. Why is this, you ask? 1. I
don’t like to cook. 2. I don’t want my house to get messed up. Which is to say yes, I'm aware I’m a neat freak
who trends toward pretty strong OCD tendencies. Feel free to laugh when I say that one of the things I enjoy most is engaging in conversation and
strengthening friendships over a good meal.
Out. In a restaurant. When you call me you might be planning a cookout but when I call you, you can bet we’re eating out!
So how does all of this relate to people? I would have said my
scorecard on friendship earned high marks.
I pride myself on quickly responding to emails and texts when anyone in
my inner circle needs a hand, an ear, a ride, a dollar, a friend or when they
just want to chat or vent. I try to make myself
available at any hour to those I’m blessed to share my life with and
thankfully, they gladly do the same for me.
But I had no idea I was sometimes doing so with such a huff in my tone. With all of this insight I pride myself on
having, how could I have missed that?
I was clueless that I huffed when my mom called last week to ask my opinion on something and politely asked what I
was doing. “Working!” She recalls me
saying in a rush. I also had no idea
that I threw my hand out and growled over the weekend when the hubster
interrupted a block of creative writing time I’d set aside. Yep.
He said the actual quote was “I need five more
minutes to wrap up before I can help you.”
Wow! Where’s that application for
Wife-of-the-Year? Will someone grab it
for me, please?
To me,
friendship shows up first and foremost by offering the gift of time to the people I adore and the
last thing I want to do is offer that time with a scowl on my face and a growl
lacing my voice. That isn’t a reflection
of my heart and it’s not the kind of person I want to be.
This month I’m embracing the truth about
myself. I huff and I growl a lot and I’m determined to stop.
