Here We Go...

And just like that the kiddo is gone, out the door for the first day of senior year, and I find myself downsized in a job I’ve loved for nearly 18 years.  

I have no idea if he had breakfast.  I have no idea if he packed a lunch.  But I can attest that he’s clean and that he smells good and that his clothes are spotless.  I know that for sure because he took over doing his own laundry this summer and my washer ran a marathon yesterday! 

So yeah, there have been moments over these first weeks of summer (amidst the application prepping, transcript requesting, letter of recommendation gathering, scholarship paperwork completing, score sending, and day dreaming about the future that's become the hum of our days) when I felt like a good cry would make it all better. But I've held tough. Until today.  

It's hard to believe the great college tour of July 2017 is history, yet there's something about seeing it in print, the memories filed neatly amongst the pages that chronicle the kiddos' life this past year, that makes the reality of it all impossible to push away.  

We have a few more visits to make this summer and while I'm looking forward to our next road trip, and to making new memories, I've also decided it's time to stock up on Kleenex. #WHSSen19rs

Frontloaded...

Seniors--Morse, June 2018

When the kiddo came to us with his junior schedule, the hubster and I weren’t a hundred percent on board with the workload he planned to tackle. When he added a couple of online classes to that load the last trimester of the school year, the hubster and I had a full conversation in glances and raised eyebrows. And while I never doubted the kiddo, I did question the load. Truth is, given what I know about my son, I guess I should’ve known better. 

“It was all part of the plan,” he offered from his perch in the bow of our boat this past weekend, flashing me that thousand watt smile while I stared back at myself in his mirrored sunglasses. “I frontloaded summer.” And that he did. Junior year is in the books and I'll always look back on the growth he gained and the achievements he earned with a grin.  It was an amazing ride.

So here we are... We have no real schedule to keep this summer other than a few planned excursions. We have no deadlines to note, no testing center hours to memorize, and no study guides to label, which means that for the first time in my life I’m not running a daily checklist where he’s concerned. And it means he has a chance to breathe for a moment, a chance to stare at the stars a bit if he chooses, and a chance to be a kiddo for just a while longer. 

29 Days...

It's been a month of crushing loss. A month of not enough words to express sorrow. A month of juggling schedules to keep the bases covered while praying for time to simultaneously stop and fast forward itself. We've lost a precious cousin we were really just getting to know again after years of losing touch. Paul was the master of corny jokes and had a huge heart. He was our friend and we miss him. We lost my Uncle Bill, a gentle, patient man we all adored. He was like a father to my dad given their age difference and I physically felt my heart crack when my dad looked at me through tear stained eyes and said that he understood what it felt like to be an orphan now. "I'm the last one left," he sighed. And today we buried my Aunt Linda, a sweet soul who turned the title of being a sister-in-law to my mom into a best friendship. 

The past twenty nine days have come with a steep learning curve and they've reminded me that family reunions are best when held in parks near the barbecue versus the inside of solemn chapels. These days have also highlighted a few things it dawns on me we're often quick to say but slow to do. Take the risk. Mend the fence. Have the hard conversation. Spend the time. Pray for those that come against you. Take the first step. Make the call. And please, if you do nothing else, tell someone you love them. #LoveWins

One Little Word...

Instead of resolutions, I decided to focus on a single word this year.  While I sat with simplify and discipline for a bit, in the end the word that resonated most strongly with me was Embrace.

One of the things I've decided to Embrace this year is my weight loss journey.  While there's a 'before' pic, there's not going to be a definitive 'after' pic.  I'm focusing on where I'm at and how I'm doing and Embracing right now versus worrying about an 'after.' As such, I'm choosing to call these pics 'before' and 'first third.' #24.2  

And The Award Goes To...

Since our duo became a trio almost seventeen years ago, we’ve had a running joke around here about the Mother of the Year award.  Thing is, I’m prone to pulling some doozies as my mom would say, which is how the notion of the award came about.  While I don’t remember now what I did that caused us to coin the phrase all those years ago, I’m sure it was either shockingly impressive or completely ridiculous.  Brilliance or incompetence.  There’s rarely anything in between with me. 

The kiddo received his first speeding ticket today, which is to say he’s grounded and his truck is parked indefinitely, which means I’m headed back to the carpool line…

It’s also how I found myself sitting on the side of the road shouting “Let me tell you something, mister.  I don’t offer fifteen million chances.  I’m not Jesus!” at the top of my lungs at 415pm on an otherwise quiet Tuesday afternoon.  #MOTY2018